The holidays are a difficult season for many people, but the recently divorced facing their first post-divorce holiday have special challenges. When, where and how do you celebrate Thanksgiving? Who will the kids stay with on Christmas Eve? Will mom and dad reunite for a Norman Rockwell Christmas morning?

For couples about to experience their first holiday season as single parents, these and many other issues can cause serious angst. After all, most parents want to make the holidays special for their children. But how much togetherness and accommodation of their ex-spouses can most people handle at an already stressful time?

Carmen Eiker, a partner in the family law firm McCurley Orsinger McCurley Nelson & Downing, L.L.P., suggests that newly divorced parents focus on the Three C’s: Cooperation, Communication, and (Staying) Calm.

“Remember, this is new for everyone involved and a certain level of anxiety is only natural,” she says. “Cooperate with the other parent as much as possible to make the children’s holiday time with that parent as good as it can be. This is not a competition. Telling your children what they will be missing at your house while they are with the other parent is not the holiday memory you want them to have.

“Communicate with the other parent,” she continues. “Bad weather, heavy traffic, and delayed flights happen and are no one’s fault. With email and texting it’s easy for parents to stay in touch in real time to work out the logistics of the hectic holidays.

“And stay calm,” she concludes. “Avoid the tendency to overreact if things don’t live up to the picture-perfect concept of what the holidays should be. No one’s holiday lives up to that. Your children won’t remember minor mix-ups unless you make an issue of them. But they will remember forever a parent’s anxiety or anger. Instead, give them holiday memories of their parents cooperating, communicating, and staying calm. They will remember and thank you forever.”